you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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