I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
