i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
