i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
