Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
