I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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