I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
