whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just had sex on a roof
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
