I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
