butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
