So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
