ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize