unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize