Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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