Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
