Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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