i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
