He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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