This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just cut my nipple shaving
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
