Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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