I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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