you guys were way drunker than both of me
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
