porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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