doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
