Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
