Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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