I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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