Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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