the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
