I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
