I hate all girls vehemently.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Randomize
