I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
