can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
