drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
