Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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