if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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