and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
