His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she looked like the before picture.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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