what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize