from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
