I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
