Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
