is your mom at the bar?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
