I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
