Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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