No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
