I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
