Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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