Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
