He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
