you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
