could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
