is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
