I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
