how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize