real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize