I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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