Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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