I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
