He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
