So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
