her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
