i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You have to summon your inner elephant
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
