New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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