Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
