hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
